Getting to know your partner in a romantic relationship is a long process which requires lots of patience and empathy. With time, each one of us wishes that our significant other could “read” our minds. Well, the idea behind the five love languages is pretty much the same. Words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch are all different acts of expressing and feeling love. Understanding the difference between them can dramatically improve your relationship.
The term “love language” was first coined by relationship counselor Gary Chapman, the author of the book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Compliments to Your Mate“. Throughout the years, the work has gradually gained worldwide popularity, which imminently shed the lights on Chapman’s theory of the five ways of expressing and experiencing love in an intimate relationship.
The idea of the five love languages is still going strong to this day, and there’s a simple reason – it all makes sense. According to the theory, every person has one primary and one secondary love language. To discover another person’s love language, you must analyze what their significant other asks for and complains about the most, as well as how they express themselves.
Test Your Love Language Now!
We created a quick but powerful free quiz that helps you in finding you and your partner’s love languages. After the test you will find out:
- How much you care about each love language.
- An in-depth explanation of each love language.
- Practical examples of how you can improve your relationship.
What are the Five Love Languages?
If you don’t know what the five love languages are, below is a quick explanation of each. If you click on the links, you will get a However, I would suggest that you don’t read them before doing the quiz. It could influence the way you choose your answers in the love language test. However, like most people, you probably already know those five languages, and you might even assume which is your primary. Nevertheless, try to be unbiased and just concentrate on the questions to get an optimal result.
In a nutshell, here’s what each of these languages means:
- Words of Affirmation: expressing affection towards the partner; communicating in an encouraging, empathetic, and appreciative manner.
- Acts of Service: when the partner acts rather than speaks and everything he or she does is to ease their partner’s burden of responsibility; in other words, devotion.
- Receiving Gifts: occasionally gifting your partner well-thought-out presents as a form of appreciation and love; the essence of this form of language is in the thoughtfulness and the effort behind the end result.
- Quality Time: This love language focuses on spending time with your partner and giving attention; those who like to spend quality time are usually good listeners.
- Physical Touch: this type of love language concentrates on nonverbal communication through physical touch – hugs, pats, kisses, hand-holding and etc.; this is a direct way of expressing love and affection as a form of reassurance and calming.
Why Couples Should Test Their Love Language
You may have an assumption what your primary and secondary love languages are. However, to get a much more precise result, couples should do our love language test. We are all so complex in character and personality features that each one of us might as well use all five languages at different times and to a varying extent.
For this reason, doing the love language quiz will help you identify the feats that stand out the most, and the results might amaze you. Various factors may affect your level of use for each language. According to Chapman, each love language has its “dialects”. This means you can use one main language while also emphasizing on others to some degree.
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Last but not least, the test will also give information about the love languages you’re worst at. Of course, we can’t “speak” all five love languages perfectly. After all, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and it’s a good idea to know both. This test will help you to better understand and empathize with your partner or other people without hurting their feelings and emotions.
How Love Languages Help In Improving Relationships
First and foremost, knowing the emotional sweet spots of your partner is the key to dealing with unnecessary arguments and difficult situations. The moment you realize what your other half cares and doesn’t care about will be the moment you start finding a better solution to each problem. In this way, you will not only minimize the fighting, but it will also strengthen up the bond between you and your partner.
On top of that, another concept of the theory of the five love languages is to strengthen the relationship. Surely, longevity requires lots of sacrifices. To achieve it, you have to put effort into satisfying your partner’s needs. Whether he or she likes to spend quality time or receiving gifts, it is up to you to dig in deeper into what love language your significant other longs for.
Knowing each other better will certainly improve the communication process. Besides, learning how to love your partner will train you to express your positive emotions even better.
Last but not least, you can always use your knowledge in normal, non-romantic relationships. Being able to understand what matters to people will give you the advantage of creating thoughtful, long-lasting relationships with people.
Also, these five languages are useful in the workplace. To be a good leader, one must find out how each member of the team feels appreciated. Contrary to popular belief, keeping everyone happy is not that hard if you know how to motivate your workers, friends, or even children.
To conclude, the key to every healthy relationship is understanding each other’s emotional needs. Learning to recognize and use the five love languages will help you express your love and affection in a better way and make you better as a person. After all, everyone has a different story, but this concept will help improve the focus on what’s more important in a relationship.
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