Sexting Tips for Couples + 50 Examples

How to start sexting without it feeling awkward

Start with a flirty message that’s easy to answer, then let your partner set the pace. You don’t need to jump to explicit words. A compliment or a small hint is enough to see if they want to play.

• Check the timing. A spicy text in the middle of their work meeting can land badly. Evenings and lazy weekends work best.
• Start light. “I keep thinking about last night” opens the door without pressure.
• Ask questions. “What would you do if I were next to you right now?” invites them in.
• Mirror their energy. If they reply with one word, keep it flirty. If they turn up the heat, follow.
• Use your shared history. A memory of a real moment is hotter than any line you copy from the internet.
• Follow through. Sexting works best as a prelude. Mention what you’ll do when you see each other and then do it.

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Flirty sexts to start slow

These work any time of day and are a safe first step if you’ve never sexted before.

1. I can’t focus today. Guess whose fault that is.
2. I just thought about the way you kissed me this morning. Now I’m smiling like an idiot.
3. You looked so good today. I wanted to tell you that properly.
4. What are you wearing right now? Be honest.
5. I’m counting the hours until I see you.
6. Remember that night on the couch? I do. A lot.
7. I had a dream about you last night. I’ll tell you about it in person.
8. If you were here right now, you wouldn’t get much done.
9. I miss your hands.
10. Quick question: what’s the first thing you want to do when you get home?

Compliments that turn up the heat

Specific compliments feel more personal and more exciting than general ones.

11. I love the sound you make when I kiss your neck.
12. You have no idea how much I want you right now.
13. Your body is my favorite place.
14. I still think about the way you looked at me last weekend.
15. You smell so good I want to bury my face in your neck.
16. Nobody else makes me feel like this.
17. I love it when you take control.
18. You were incredible last night. I’m still thinking about it.
19. Every time you bite your lip, I lose my mind a little.
20. I could kiss you for hours and still want more.

Teasing sexts to build anticipation

Teasing works because it creates suspense. Hint at what’s coming, but don’t give everything away.

21. I have a surprise for you tonight. You’ll have to wait.
22. Wear the shirt I like. You’ll find out why later.
23. I bought something new. You’ll see it soon.
24. Tonight, you’re not allowed to touch me until I say so.
25. I’m making a list of everything I want to do to you. It’s getting long.
26. Guess where I want to kiss you first.
27. Come home early and I’ll make it worth it.
28. I’m in bed. It’s too big without you.
29. I have plans for you. Clear your evening.
30. Three words: you, me, shower.

Spicy sexts for when you’re both in the mood

Use these once your partner has shown they’re into it. Adjust the words to what feels natural for the two of you.

31. Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you.
32. I want to undress you slowly tonight.
33. I keep imagining your hands all over me.
34. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try with me?
35. I want you so badly it’s distracting.
36. Tonight I’m all yours. Do whatever you want.
37. I want to hear you say my name.
38. Describe your favorite memory of us in bed. Every detail.
39. Next time, I want to take it really slow and make you wait.
40. I’m thinking about you and I can’t stop.

Sexts for long-distance couples

When you can’t touch, words carry more weight. These help bridge the distance until the next visit.

41. I miss falling asleep next to you. And everything before that.
42. When I see you again, we’re not leaving the room for a day.
43. Call me tonight. I want to hear your voice while I’m in bed.
44. Tell me what you’d do if I walked through your door right now.
45. I’m wearing your shirt. Only your shirt.
46. Let’s both go to bed early tonight and keep our phones close.
47. I’ve counted: 12 days until I can kiss you again.
48. I wish I could feel your skin right now.
49. What’s the first thing you want to do when you pick me up at the airport?
50. Distance is hard. Missing you like this is harder.

For more ways to stay close, see our guide to long-distance relationship sex.

How to sext safely

Safe sexting means both partners agree, and nothing gets shared beyond the two of you. Words are low risk. Photos and videos need more care.

• Ask before you send a photo. “Can I send you something?” takes two seconds and respects your partner.
• Never pressure. If your partner doesn’t want to send photos, that’s the answer. No means no, by text too.
• Leave out your face and other identifying details like tattoos or a recognizable room.
• Use an app with disappearing messages, such as Signal, and turn off automatic backups of your photo gallery if you don’t want intimate photos in the cloud.
• Lock your phone and turn off message previews on the lock screen.
• Delete what you don’t want to keep, on both phones.

Sharing someone’s intimate images without their consent is a crime in the US. The federal TAKE IT DOWN Act, signed in May 2025, makes publishing them a federal offense and requires platforms to remove them on request (PBS NewsHour). Never sext with anyone under 18.

Sexting mistakes to avoid

• Copy-paste lines. Use the examples above as a starting point and make them about the two of you.
• Going explicit too fast. If your partner is still warming up, an explicit message can feel like a jump.
• Sexting someone who’s busy or not alone. Ask “Are you alone?” if you’re unsure.
• Only texting about sex. Sexting works best in a relationship where you also talk about everything else.
• Making it a chore. If one of you isn’t in the mood, switch to a sweet message instead.

If you want more ideas to play with, try our sex apps for couples or roll the online sex dice together.