How to start a Conversation on Tinder

After you got some matches it’s time to turn those into numbers, but first, you need to start a conversation.

When to write your first message

If you have a powerful bio, she might already write you first, which is a perfect way to start. But most of the time it’s you, who will start the conversation. It doesn’t matter how long you wait after the match, what’s important is the time of the day. You don’t want to write to her when she’s busy because her answers won’t get you far, and you will have to wait hours for her reply. It’s much harder to build a connection or chemistry if your interaction is constantly interrupted.

A recent study has analyzed at which time people are using several apps and how long they use them. The study is hard to read and the graphs are a little confusing but they show the time when people spend the most minutes on Tinder and you can see that the engagement between 6 PM and 12 PM is the highest with a peek at 9 PM.

It’s the time when most people come home from work and do something that they enjoy. She should be relaxed, in the right mood and ready to start a conversation. Another benefit is that she will be free to take your call afterward so that you can make a deeper connection and set up a date.

Avoid these Opening Lines!

“Hey, how are you?” That’s the line 90% of guys are using. Don’t use it, because she will think you are just another boring guy who isn’t creative or funny. The hottest girls are only on Tinder for entertainment but if a guy is interesting enough, she will meet him. You become this guy by using the following knowledge to your advantage to separate yourself from the crowd.

Funny Pick Up Lines. Some guys are a little smarter, they try to be funny by using pickup lines. Unfortunately, a lot of them are not funny at all, and if they are funny, she has probably heard it before. It might work, but to increase your overall success rate, you should avoid these too.

Dirty Pick Up Lines. A lot of guys have a false impression that Tinder is a Hookup App because it’s the easiest way to get a date. But the number of girls that just want to get laid isn’t as high as most people think. In reality, the majority of girls just want to have some dates and eventually find someone for a relationship. Of course, there are also girls who are just looking for fun, but you have to identify them. Girls who are looking for a relationship will instantly delete you because you make her feel like a slut by sending dirty messages up front. You have to decide between finding a girlfriend and getting laid because it’s a different game, where you also have to use the right photos and way of writing.

Long Texts. The worst way to open a girl on tinder is to copy and paste one of these long texts. She will definitely know that you are sending this to all girls. Even if she doesn’t notice it she will think that you are desperate and have too much time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t put so much effort into one match. A female blogger once wrote: “it seems kind of weird when a dude (I’ve rarely seen women do this) sends an enormous first message all about how he knows based on your profile photo that you’re totally his type and you two totally need to hang out together.”

Complimenting her looks. Don’t tell her how pretty she is. She knows it already because she has heard it a million times before. It’s a very fine line, and just a few men can compliment a woman, without losing attraction. Unfortunately, her appearance and maybe the bio is all you got because you don’t know her personality before the opener. If you want to write her a compliment, make it about her fashion sense, because then you are complimenting her taste, which is something that happens in her brain and is part of her personality.

How to create your own S.U.P.E.R. Opener

You can create your own openers or customize the ones that someone else has invented. The ones that work very well for me are at the end of this article. Here is some advice that you should keep in mind when you create your unique opening lines.

Short. Don’t write more than two sentences in your first message. Many guys are writing her, therefore girls on Tinder are lazy and have a short attention span. If your opening line is too long, she won’t read it. Also, remember what I mentioned above, you can increase your effort after she proves that she is worth it. For an attractive guy she is just another pretty face, so keep your value.

Unique. I made sure that the pickup lines, which I’m going to give you later on, are not popular yet. You don’t want to use a line that she has already read before. It won’t work, it’s lame, and she probably won’t answer, because she will feel like one of many. Give her the impression that you are creative and interested in her as a person. The easiest way to be unique is to be more personal.

Personal. Writing her name is one step in the right direction. Take a closer look at each of her photos, is there anything unusual or interesting? Bring up something about it. Try to guess what type of person she is and make statements about her. It doesn’t matter if you’re right, even if you’re completely wrong, it gives you something to continue the conversation with.

Entertaining. Girls just want to have fun. Be playful and funny, a laugh is always beneficial and makes it much easier to proceed. The hottest girls are not desperately searching for a boyfriend on Tinder. They use it for entertainment, it’s your job to keep them want more of you. Pro Tip: Make up a short story or a joke about her, but be careful it can easily backfire if she is sensitive and you cross her line.

Repeatable. You will open a lot of girls, so it’s important to make it time efficient. Focus on a few lines that not only work but are also easily adjustable. It will take some time to find your best opening lines, choose about five different ones and try each on at least ten girls. Afterward, compare the results and keep testing the best lines even more. Not every line will work on every girl the same way. Use softer openers for sweet innocent girls and be a little harder to very attractive and bitchy girls. Have a favorite line for each type of girl.

I named it S.U.P.E.R. Opener because if you read just the first letters, they will make the word “Super”. It will make it easier for you to remember.

Be aware of your own type, what works for one guy can come off a little awkward from another guy.

5 Example Lines

The following opening lines are a great way to start a conversation on tinder. I have tried over 100 pick up lines, which were recommended in some eBooks and articles. Some worked, but 90% did not, so I improved them and created my own ones. After weeks of testing, I present you 5 of the best tinder openers that work.

1. ”What Up Gangster?”

The standard line, instead of a simple “Hey what’s up?”. This get’s her to smile because she doesn’t hear it all the time. Works well with the sweet ones, they are used to be called cute, so they might ask you why you’re calling her a gangster. After that, you can use “How is thug life going?” instead of “How are you doing?” to sound wittier.

2. “Damn, I know you!”

She will either say “No, you don’t” or “Where do you know me from?”. In both situations, you can make up a funny little story. She will be amused and hopefully play along. Don’t try to make up a realistic story, it won’t work and she will think you’re weird. If she says “No, you don’t” you can also go a different way by framing it as if you meant that you know her type. Tell her something like “You’re the kind of girl that …”. It shows you have some experience with different types of girls, and she will be curious to know why you think this way about her.

3. “Good girls are asleep at this hour!”

Needless to say, you should only use this opener at night. Similar to the previous one, some will try to prove you that they are still good girls. Others will think it’s funny and remember the time when it was cool to be such a bad girl, who is awake so late. It’s easy to follow up with the reasons why both of you are still awake, or you can further talk about this good/bad girl topic. You can also use it perfectly to determine what type of girl she is. Her reaction will be a lot better to this funny vibe than if you boldly ask something like “Are you looking for sex or a relationship?”, no girl will give you an honest answer to this.

4. Does that mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend now?

Of course, she knows that you are not serious. That’s the key, you appear sweet and innocent to her consciousness but subconscious she knows that only someone who doesn’t care much would bring such a line. Having a (slightly) careless attitude is attractive because it’s something that all guys who have an abundance of women have in common. She will also let her guard down because you don’t seem like someone who is just looking to hookup.

5. What is a nice girl like you doing on tinder?

This line is a good mix between a compliment and a light accusation. Just the compliment would be boring, but in this context, it helps to gain her affection. She feels a little special because you sound surprised to see a girl that’s different than all the others. Now she is in the situation to explain herself, which increases the number of responses. She wants to confirm your assumption that she’s a nice girl, but at the same time, she can’t admit that she’s looking for a boyfriend because that would appear desperate. Chances are high that she comes up with an answer, that makes it easy to build a conversation upon.

These lines will help you to warm her up. It’s important that you don’t wait too long after that line, continue with the transition and start a conversation.

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